In a bit of a pickle

[interpridfrog]

 Hello!
yet another entry!
Recently things have been getting annoying hard maybe even tricky school is easy if you pay attention in class everyone knows that. I have a party tomorrow well graduation party for one of my friends I'm a bit stressed out or just anxious I'm not sure how to describe it but I've hung out with my friends before so why am I nervous? It's most likely during the summer I didn't do much just busy doing my hobbies INSIDE my house so I didn't talk to them much so I FEEL like I've lost my touch I feel like I can't think I feel like I'm awkward and this mentality is getting to me! I fear the only thing I want to do is be safe in my bedroom!

Another thing..

My dear mother is fueling my ANGER. Listen I'm sorry you are angry at something I have no idea but that gives you no right absolutely no right for you to take out you're pathetic anger on me!!, though at the same time I feel grateful for her behavior because now I know how NOT to act when I'm an adult so again I thank her for giving me such a clear view of what a Buck-Passer! Blame-Shifter! Finger Pointer! Crybaby she is! I cannot curse unfortunately so I can just GRR!

Though I must find inner peace and be the bigger person. I will not let people affect me this early on in my life. though it's sad to say I dislike my mother at certain times, anger is fueled by remembering so I must move past certain things. She once was a girl like me as she grew and went through hardships I must try my hardest to understand and most importantly remind myself that she is imperfect just like myself. It's difficult when you see the person who raised you make mistakes because you aren't used to seeing they're weaknesses it's like as if they were perfect in you're eyes for a moment, they were the ones you looked for when you felt hurt, sad, angry, but things change as you grow yourself and become more conscious of the world around you, you get to know all kinds of people all kinds of personalities and I must reflect on that to understand that people make mistakes including myself!!!